Reasons that one does not become successful : part-5

Part-5

Poor self-confidence, Fatalistic and negative attitude.

High self-esteem comes from:
• Being listened to, being taken seriously
• Honesty [with tact and sensitivity], integrity
• Honoring uniqueness
• Authentic expression of feelings
• Encouragement, support, appreciation
• Being trustworthy, trusting others
• Safety, security
• High and attainable expectations
• A sense of personal power; having choices
• Personal and social responsibility
• Forgiveness; allowing and learning from mistakes
• Having meaning in life, a sense of purpose
• Acceptance, respect, love
• A feeling of connectedness, and belonging


Low self-esteem comes from:
• Rejection
• Conditional love or no love at all
• Lack of attention, being ignored
• Not being listened to or taken seriously
• Emotional abuse such as ridicule, criticism, sarcasm, blaming, humiliation
• Prejudice
• Comparison, perfectionism
• Expectations that are too high or too low
• Focusing on externals (appearances, behavior, performance)
• Guilt, shame, resentment
• Physical and sexual abuse or exploitation
• Rejection
• Conditional love or no love at all

Most of the time, it is acceptable fact that failure in success is due to Poor self-confidence, Fatalistic and negative attitude.  If you frequently blame yourself when something bad happens; if you automatically anticipate the worst in a situation; if you put polarized pressure on yourself (for example, you either have to be perfect or, if you mess up once, you're a failure; there's no in-between) or if you magnify the negative parts of a situation and dismiss the positive ones, you practice negative self-talk. Even worse, your mental and physical health is in peril.   A fatalistic attitude prevents people from accepting responsibility in their life. They attribute success and failure to luck.  They surrender themselves to their fate, regardless of their efforts, that whatever has to happen will happen anyway. 

if you focus mainly on the negative aspects of a life event, you're more likely to replay those negative thoughts and images in your head for longer periods of time.  This kind of repeated negative-thinking clouds your vision and affects the way you interact with and think about the world.  Poor self-esteem is a lack of self-respect. People with low self-confidence are constantly trying to play a blame game.   They try to label themselves as Unlucky. You might have failed, but you’re not a failure until you stop trying.

Some people live and learn, and some only live. Failure is a teacher if we have the right attitude. Wise people learn from their mistakes—experience is the name they give to slipups.  Past mistakes are not to be memorize to express resentment at every moment, but it is memorize to void their recurrences.

We make comparison with others about many things. Comparing yourself to others basically brings out the competitive spirit to outperform the next one.  People with high self-esteem don’t compete with others; instead, they improve their own performance.  They compete against themselves.  While People with low self-esteem find some excuses for their low performance. 

Many a times, we miss the opportunity to give a sincere compliments to others for achievements or success.  We forget that when we give a compliments to others, and those others give you back a complements for achievements or success.